Depression at age 12???

I'm going through the same thing, I'm twelve and going through this too. I really hope that you will decide not to try to attempt sucicide, it would be bad. I know you're probably thinking that this is the only way to go, but it's really not. It takes only a moment to end a lifetime. You're doing good in school, and you'll be financially stable and most definitly going to end up with a good education, and home. You're not a muntant kid, not at all, but you're right, it's not a normal feeling when you feel that you want to die. Don't let your not knowing your stepdad scare you, because someday you'll meet him, and you should know that ALOT of people care for you. To me it sounds like your sisters care about you. And you probably know that you're mother wouldn't want you to do that. You you know she loved you, and still does, no parent wants to see their children upset. I know when you're depressed you can feel like nobody wants you or loves you, but you don't have to take my word for it that somebody loves you. I'm hoping you know it. You should always let people know how you are, you're not trying to please them, you're taking care of youself. You should be able to exspress you feelings in a good way. Please, don't hurt youself. You should not have to die becuase of other's burdens. Let your emotions out, it sounds like you have a little bit of a self confidence problem. Know that you ARE an overachiever, that you ARE a good kid, and that these are just normal feelings that eventually everyone goes through.Try and make the day happy, open doors, make jokes, laugh, smile. You may feel diffrent, (and don't think you're painting on a fake smile, because you're not) but just pretending can help. It can lighten your mood. Keep going, you're an A student and an overachiever, so focus on your schoolwork, (these are just some suggestions) If that does not help, you should look for a professinal (no, not a professinal wrestler :) ) but a pyschologist, or maybe sign up for some therapy sessions. Just getting it out can help. Don't bottle it up, and don't take it out on yourself. Maybe medication can work. Other times, just love and friends. You can choose many methods to help. Just remember that you do matter and the world may change a whole lot cause you're not there to smile or help. Don't let your feelings take full control there, and don't hurt youself!! You're a very special person worth taking care of. I really hope this helps, and you get better, I CARE!!!!! :))))))